


Shaving Cream?

by Anielka



Series: Hear me out! [5]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Gen, Ghost Connor, Is it too obvious that I hate Larry?, Larry Murphy's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 19:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anielka/pseuds/Anielka
Summary: This glove's really cool, wow.Your standards must be terribly low.Oh, why don’t you take it?Yeah, take the glove, Evan.Make my dad’s day.Or, Connor's thoughts during 'To Break In A Glove'





	Shaving Cream?

**Author's Note:**

> Unpopular opinion: Larry Murphy is a horrible parent, and I hate him.
> 
> So, I got a cake in the oven and enough time to edit, so... Enjoy!

 

 

_This glove's really cool, wow._

**Your standards must be terribly low.**

_Oh, why don’t you take it?_

**Yeah, take the glove, Evan.**

**Make my dad’s day.**

_Oh. No, no, I couldn't._

 

_Why not?_

**He’s anxious, dad, don’t pressure him.**

_Are you sure?_

 

I bought this glove a thousand years ago,

For some birthday or some Christmas that has come and gone,

I thought we might play catch or... I don't know…

But he left it in the bag, with the tag still on.

**I wanted nail polish,**

**and you said that was ‘ _girl stuff’_ and bought a baseball glove.**

**You really thought I was going to _play_ with you? **

_You'll have to break it in though, first._

_You can't catch anything with it that stiff._

_How do you break it in?_

**Don’t ask him, Evan. It’s a trap.**

Well, it's all a process that is really quite precise,

**You had to fucking ask.**

A sort of secret method known to very few,

**It’s just shaving cream, dad.**

**‘S not that big of a deal.**

So, if you're in the market for professional advice,

**Oooo yeah, “professional”.**

Well today could be a lucky day for you.

 

_Shaving cream._

 

_Shaving cream?_

**I know, right?**

**What a disappointment.**

_Oh yeah. You rub that in for about five minutes,_

_Tie it all up with rubber bands,_

_Put it under your mattress, and sleep on it._

_And you do that for at least a week, every day, consistent._

And though this method isn't easy,

Every second that you spend is gonna pay off.

It'll pay off in the end.

**It’s just a glove, for fuck’s sake.**

It just takes a little patience.

It takes a little time.

A little perseverance.

And a little uphill climb.

**It’s just a week.**

**You make it sound like he’s going to spend the next**

**thirty-five years of his life doing it.**

You might not think it's worth it,

You might begin to doubt,

But you can't take any shortcuts,

You gotta stick it out.

**Stop the drama, and let Evan go;**

**the kid signed up for a rich, loving family,**

**not your baseball obsession.**

And it's the hard way.

But it's the right way.

The right way... to break in a glove.

 

_With something like this, you gotta be ready to put in the work,_

_Make the commitment. So what do you think?_

_I mean, definitely_.

**Evan, no, no, no!**

Some people say just use a microwave,

Or try that "run it through hot water" technique,

Well, they can gloat about the time they saved,

'Til they gotta buy another glove next week.

**That’s a ridiculous exaggeration.**

It just takes a little patience,

It takes a little patience,

**Not you too, Hansen!**

Takes a little time,

                Takes a little time.

A little perseverance.

-Perseverance.

And a little uphill climb

 

And it's the hard way

But it's the right way

The right way...

 

'Cause there's a right way in everything you do

Keep that grit

Follow through

 

Even when everyone around you thinks you're crazy,

**Everyone thought I was crazy,**

**but did you do anything?**

Even when everyone around you lets things go,

And whether you're prepping for some test,

Or you're miles from some goal,

Or you're just trying to do what's best

For a kid who's lost control…

**I’m not entirely sure if you’re talking about Evan or me.**

You do the hard thing

'Cause that's the right thing

**Pushing me to my limits until I killed myself was the right thing?**

Yeah, that's the right thing

 

_Connor was really lucky to have a dad that... uh,_

_A dad who cared so much about... taking care of stuff._

**He may have cared for his stuff, Evan,**

**but not for his children.**

**He’s not really that great.**

_Shaving cream. Rubber bands. Mattress. Repeat._

_Got it?_

**He’s not dumb, dad.**

**He just looks a little bit like that.**

_Got it._

 

It's the hard way

But it's the right way,

**This is my personal hell.**

The right way

To break in a glove

 

_You're good to go._

**I’m good to go, for Christ’s sake.**

**Someone, please, let _me_ go.**

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE VACATIONS  
> BUT I HATE WINTER
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!   
> If you liked it leave a comment or kudo, those make my day. :)


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